Another favorite season of mine, Christmas has gone, and hence the brand new year of 2010. And then, its again the time where you set all your new year resolutions where you crave for new hairstyle, new look, new clothes, everything new, gratefully and hopefully for a better 2010 year. So am I.
Last year was unavoidably tough for me. Therefore, in this year, first thing bound to be done is hoping to put aside and replaced all the bad memories with many good ones. In the period of time being in Australia, I was proud to say that i have been more matured, tougher and patience in many ways. I have learnt a lot about reality and people. And sadly, reality sucks, often, people too. Aside of that, Sze and I obviously have some pretty good memories too. Nevertheless, Brisbane was a very nice place to live in, just the safety alone there can never be compared to Malaysia. At least, we don't experience people burning churches down over there!
4 months past really quick in no time where all of us were already set foot back to our home country. Before going back, i always have this fear for something which i secretly prayed that it won't happen. It feared me more when my fear seems to have came true and its happening. I have been thinking a whole lots of nonsense every single day, felt like my brain and emotions are going haywire soon. That have caused depression to really grips me and i was on the brink of breaking down. I felt exceptionally lonely, felt like i have been or going to lose someone used to be so close to me. But i will never stop trying to not make it happen.
I don't know why but it bugs me a lot where friendship seems to be the biggest weakness within me and most likely causing the root to my sadness. But whatever it is, i believe and trust in God. God have a plan for me and He might have wanted this for me, in order to let me learn something and to be stronger. Things can be different and bad, people can change, and this is where we learn to be better and stronger. I sincerely thank God whom have always been there for me and also given me someone so wonderful and caring, never failed to be there to cheer me up, never failed to advise me and support me whenever he could, never been annoyed to wipe off my easily-loosen-tears. He's truly my pillar of strength and i love him with all my heart.
I have promised to take step by step out of this to ease myself and not let myself buried in pain and sadness for something unnecessary where others were laughing out heartily knowing nothing. And it is probably my fault for thinking too much, as per usual. :/ It has been really hard for me, and now still is, but i know, i will never stop trying.
